June 2010
1 post
“You should steal a puppy from an ugly girl and give it to me!”
– Jess
April 2010
2 posts
“One of [one’s] goals in life should be to have people on call to make...”
– Daniel L.
“‘What do you even do in New York?’ is not a valid question.”
– Jess
March 2010
5 posts
“[in hysterics] Something about throwing wet money into a microwave at 5 in the...”
– Val
“I have no skills but immortality.”
– Elisabeth
“Dude, I started Brooklyn.”
– Immanuel
“I always tip 20%…unless they punch me in the face, then it’s 15.”
– Dave
“Always make sure you use a reputable dive shop. Some have flags, some have...”
– Chelsea
February 2010
1 post
“I don’t think even alcoholics count as alcoholics in their 20s.”
– Val
January 2010
4 posts
“Dude, I would totally be a veternarian if loved animals.”
– Immanuel
“Nothing says [sincere] dedication like Facebook.”
– Val
“Happy freakin new year goddamnit.”
– Random new yorker
“From now on, every night before bed I should just rub Pastrami on my lips.”
– Sarah J
December 2009
2 posts
“You just stomach-butted my face.”
– Helena
“I like it! Drink my rent, the way it should be.”
– Val
October 2009
2 posts
“We are no longer fresh out of hundred dollar bills.”
– Mike Ihbe
“She’s not your baby momma if you haven’t gotten her pregnant yet.”
– Digby
September 2009
3 posts
“I’d rather be the desperate woman sleeping with the best man than the...”
– Digby
“it was pretty awesome. i made moms cry. plural.”
– SJ
“I wish it were socially acceptable to walk around with kleenexes shoved up your...”
– SJ
July 2009
1 post
“All the real Mexicans are in San Diego.”
– Mackenzie
June 2009
1 post
“I don’t know how to explain in English how bad this beer is.”
– Bubez
May 2009
8 posts
“That’s the nice thing about drug dealers, they’ve all converted to...”
– Dave Lichterman
“wtf is not for eating”
– Dave Lichterman
“Fuck you! Fuck you and your family! There are four dicks here and they all will...”
– Cab Driver
“No, just regular pool. The air quotes are for later.”
– Mike Ihbe
“…yeah, but it’s worth it. Like a meth addiction.”
– Trey Springer
“If she’s hot, why not?”
– Sahil Desai (via TheTumbler)
“…well that depends on your definition of douchbag.”
– Sahil Desai (via TheTumbler)
“I’m just going to go to all the parties and just pull my dick out....”
– (via TheTumbler)
April 2009
3 posts
“So is “get you some spicy in the Tenderloin” a euphamism for...”
– Sahil Desai (via TheTumbler)
“I’d tap that like an oil refinery.”
– Sam Purtill (via TheTumbler)
“There’s an inproportionate number of not not high school girls at this...”
– Sahil Desai (via TheTumbler)
March 2009
2 posts
“Wet t-shirt contests just aren’t the same without icycles. I miss Toronto.”
– (via TheTumbler)
“You don’t want to go there. It’s filled with pedophiles and Meg...”
– Conner (via TheTumbler)
February 2009
5 posts
“I wish I could get into TED
what, you’re not considered one of our...”
– Chelsea Derrick
“Alright, guys. From now on I’m fictional.”
– Phil Harnish (via TheTumbler)
“Taco Bell is not the strip club. For the love of God.”
– Suraj
“Hi. I’m Maya. Come over here and take off your pants…I mean join my...”
– Rani (telling how they met)
“If you quit smoking and get fat on me, we’re not going to be friends...”
– Matt B.
January 2009
1 post
“This is going to be great; it’s like a groping contest.”
– Mike Ihbe (via TheTumbler)
December 2008
3 posts
“That’s the second round of half shots I’ve had!”
– Phil Harnish (via TheTumbler)
“When I get to New York, I’m going to buy more money, so I can be all...”
– Sam Purtill (via TheTumbler)
“He’ll have nightmares about snowmen for months. It’ll be great.”
– Mike Ihbe (via TheTumbler)
November 2008
7 posts
“When we have a party, I’ve got to fly my ladies in.”
– Phil Harnish (via TheTumbler)
“I just want to play football by yachts. Is that too much to ask?”
– Suraj (via TheTumbler)
“If you handle me, a hundred babies come out; I don’t lay eggs. Don’t...”
– Chelsea Derrick (via TheTumbler)
“Let’s think of something awesome to do, and then we’ll do the exact...”
– Brett Clouser (via TheTumbler)
“Alright. If anyone asks, the beer is under the tree.”
– Mike Ihbe (via TheTumbler)
“We don’t have crispy. Just original. It’s still good. Still chicken.”
– KFC Lady (via TheTumbler)